Behind The Scenes

We recently did our fall photo shoot! This is always such a stressful situation for me because I have to worry about outfits, making sure we have a plethora of snacks and everyone is cooperating…including the husband.

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I found an AMAZING photographer who is equal parts adorable as talented. She shows up 9 months pregnant and throws her one year old on her back and gets to town! I’m impressed, to say the least!

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So this time we decided to try and bring our black lab, Harley, along for the ride. He’s almost 8 years old but every bit a puppy. To say this was a recipe for disaster is an understatement! But we don’t just stop when things are tough…right?! So here is the ONE picture we got with him. HA!

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Our morning appointment got pushed out to late afternoon due to a downpour which was ok with me. These oddly warm October days weren’t ideal for our sweaters! I thought the rain would cool it down a bit but what we got was a tornado of humidity which basically reverses the 3 hours I spent on my hair and makeup! Damn you, weather!! And truth be told, I could have tried to lose a little bit of weight but as I’ve learned at 33….I am who I am and I’ve accomplished a ton regardless of how the outside of me looks. And most importantly, I’m loved just like this! For the first time ever, after seeing pictures of myself I literally didn’t care what I looked like! I am so in love with the family I’ve made!

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Moving on, The dog participated for a total of 30 seconds. Just long enough to get one picture! His “I was here” marked and that was the end of it! It was hot, we were dressed for the artic, and the twins were NOT having any of this picture taking nonsense.

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At some point instead of doing poses we did more lifestyle pictures and these turned out really good and captured us just as we are. Literally, the one where Landon is resting his head on my shoulder was when we were walking between spots and we were just casually chatting about sleep training or something like that.

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I’m just so pleased with how these turned out! I had to share with you all. Our photographer NAILED it! Can’t wait to go back to her again and again. Literally, makes me want to get our wedding pictures done again. Aka…excuse to buy another pretty dress! πŸ™‚

Do you get yearly pictures done or your family? My bigger question is what do you do with all the blown up pictures from the years before? I don’t want our walls toΒ be infested with our narcissistic selves! Thoughts? Suggestions?!

Cheers to being older and FINALLY having a good and confident self-image! Xoxoxoxo

So Long, Summer

Even though I hate the heat and it makes me cranky I did have a very successful summer in terms of making memories or the boys. We did two family vacations with the little shits. One with my family in Western NY and the second with hub’s parents, when they visited from Germany, near Lake Michigan (Michigan side.) 

Gone are the days of actual vacations where I used to lay on a hammock, read a whole book, and sleep in. We have now come into this very different time in our lives where we now wake up early, chase mini drunk versions of ourselves, and fall asleep early because it’s exhausting watching your kids in a place that isn’t baby-proof!! 

So a little glimpse back into the fiery hot days of summer as we start dusting off our favorite comfy sweaters. Another season over and on to the next one!

My family vacation in western NY πŸ™‚  We rented this adorable little cottage right on a lake. My parents, my brother and his wife and two boys joined us! House full of love! 

Our vacation lake house with the German in-laws! This was an hour from our house but was nice to unplug! 


It’s just a trip nowadays not a vacation. I decided I can’t go into this expecting that I’ll  actually get a day off. That’s just unrealistic! But I did consider it as good memories for the boys and that made all the difference! 

Cheers, Summer!! Now give me cozy sweaters, pumpkin everything, and warm fires! xoxoxoxo 

Lions…Tigers…And…Birds! Oh My!

The weather has been top notch these past few days! The AC is officially off and my bank account is thanking us! Husband and I are known for our spontaneous decisions when it comes to the weekend. This one being no exception! 

Saturday was his birthday. The big 3-8!! Christ! Talk about the clock ticking. I’m 33 however, he and I both agree that having kids after 40 isn’t easy anymore. So time to get things moving and pop a few more out! STAT! Since we still have three baby chicks in the freezer just waiting for us to thaw them out, it’s pretty exciting to think about the near prospect of adding to our crazy life! 

Ok I got off on a little tangent there….

As I was saying…his birthday. Pretty low-key, we had friends over. We ate pulled pork and Mac & cheese (don’t judge…game day here!) and watched Michigan State crush Iowa. 


Sunday was gorgeous! One of those fall days that was crisp and cold in the morning and by the afternoon the wind was cool but the sun was out and was warm enough that we could get away with just long sleeve shirts and no sweaters. Randomly, after the boys woke up from their one and only nap we decided to screw cleaning the house or any of that nonsense and go to the zoo!!! 

Near us is a small zoo but still with some bigger animals in it which is exciting. So we packed up the kids in a whirlwind and off we went! 

They loved the sea otters and penguins. Weren’t too sure about monkeys at all. Those guys are scary…I agree. Lion was cool but I don’t think they understood he was real! Camels were of no interest. The Rhinos were great to see but instead of checking those out, sweet little Landon pointed out a bug walking on the fence instead. This is precisely why kids under 2 are free. 

The farmyard animals and the free roaming peacocks were the most exciting. As was the bird room filled with cockatoos and what have you. Which was fricking terrifying….its like walking into a trap. One where no one gets out without bird poop on their head! 


Anyways, it was fun and makes me excited for the days when they are older and we can go to the bigger zoos! They’ll appreciate it way more then! 

And as soon as we got home…mama cracked open a little pumpkin ale to round out the weekend. Hope you all had a good one too! Helllllloooo Fall, so could to see your sweet ass again!

Cheers!!! Xoxoxoxo

Finding The Light

The weather is finally cooler here in Michigan and my favorite season has begun! Bring on the candles, fluffy blankets, and fuzzy socks. This season gives me all sorts of renewed energy to hunker down and make the house homey. 


So as you all know I was suffering from depression since I was 30 weeks pregnant. Going on almost 2 years this December and I’ve been working diligently to find a way out. It’s been hard. It got to the point where some days I would just sit on the floor, turn the tv on, and let the chaos commence all around me. And other times I couldn’t find the patience for anything while the world seemed to unravel all around me. It was scary! I was easy to snap and didn’t feel like giving the boys the mommy snuggles they so desired. How awful right?! 


Many days I felt like such a failure! I dreamed of being a mom since ages. I went through in vitro just to fulfill that dream for Christ’s sake! I wanted this so why couldn’t I get a grip on this and be the mom I should be?! 


After a huge lab work up my doctor saw that my progesterone level was extremely low which wasn’t a shock considering I had the same issue during the fertility treatments. So she ordered me a cream to rub on my leg each day and the first few days were scary. I was aggressive and nauseous. Then a week went by and here I am…several weeks in and finally feel like a piece of me is back. 

I have the patience to make 3 meals a day, read books when they bring me piles of them to read, do fun learning and crafty things with them, clean the house, and my favorite bit…snuggle endlessly! Somehow it feels like everything slowed down finally. I can breathe again. Smile again. Laugh again. 


I’m hoping this leg cream was the fix. This would be the best thing to happen to me and my family in 2 years. Can such an easy thing fix me? Trying not to think about it and just accepting it for what it’s giving me right now! 

Keep fighting PPD, parents!!! There is a light in all of us! We just need to fix the igniter switch. 

Cheers, loves! Xoxoxoxox

Stop Comparing

Recently I saw a friend’s Facebook post about her 7 month old singleton. He was born one day before my boys, for reference.

My boys currently are long, skinny, and one has a pretty large head. They each weigh approximately 17lbs, 28″ long. Thats pretty lean…both below the 25 percentile for those stupid charts. WHICH, by the way, are based off of moms who went 40 weeks, with ONE baby. There is no chart for moms who went earlier, with multiples and what not. All of which is fairly frustrating. Maybe I should write to the CDC about their mistake.

Anywho…back to my friend’s post. Here is what I saw:

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Basically comparing kids is a no-go. Even though our kids were all born on the same day more or less, I need to stop thinking that I’m somehow lacking as a mom based on other children’s milestones.

So, he’s a bit taller….double the weight(!!)…talking…crawling…sitting up obviously…I mean…HOLD THE DAMN PHONE! Give me a second to catch up. For the record, her little guy is the most adorable little chap. Nothing against her, the baby, or her parenting.

Teeth….well at 7.5 months we are JUST starting to see some push through the gums for one guy, the other wants nothing to do with teeth. Crawling…thats a negative. Just trying to get through tummy time is a struggle. Says “Da-Da.” WTF! You’re 7 month old is talking AND has teeth. Shut it down. Right now!

It’s so hard for me not to feel inadequate. I am a new mom, severely struggling to get my post partum depression in order, and barely have time to teach my guys to sit up on their own. I am doing my best but when I see how moms with singleton babies are flourishing into these mini-geniuses, it kills me!

I realize I need to stop comparing my kids to everyone else. I am doing the very best that I can with what I have. Zero family, zero help, just me…100% of the time. I just really hope that I am not keeping my dudes from thriving just because I’m depressed and exhausted. We are all just trying to survive over here.

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And people wonder why I drink! Just keepin afloat! When the boys were little they had such horrible reflux that they vomited most of their food every feeding. I was giving them 3oz for what seemed like eternity. Just recently we have been able to increase little by little without too much spit up. (WOOHOO!!! No more stained clothes!) But I used to feel sad that I couldn’t get enough food in them and all these others babies I saw were getting double what they were at that age. It has been a struggle!

Anyone else do this? Compare your kids constantly? We just gotta stop doing that and let our little people be the best little people they can be!

Cheers!

A Little Party – German Style

So I had to take a “leave of absence” from ya’ll for a week. It’s nothing you said or did. I just had it!

No but seriously, I was having one of those weeks that I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to survive.

This past week was the 3 year anniversary of the death of my most beloved person…my grandma. That was hard 3 years ago and somehow I’ve never fully let the sadness go. We buried her on my husband’s birthday so he’s had a few bad birthdays to say the least! So a funeral for one bday and we moved from Germany to the US another birthday celebrating in the plane.

With all that drama I decided to stress myself out with a Oktoberfest themed party for him. Yeah, I’m an overachiever. I spent 3 days cleaning, cooking, baking, being the bumper for drunks, and more cleaning. All while juggling the twinados. Well, I am officially done!

But here’s a little glimpse into what the weekend was about πŸ™‚

It’s clearly all about the outfits here. Well and the homemade black forest cake πŸ™‚

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I made baked so many things. Crazy how much time I used up that I didn’t have to begin with. Thank god for nannys!!

We had a beer stein holding competition and all in all I think the husband was really happy with the turnout. We had a bunch of people here and tons more food arrive than what is shown in the picture. That is just what I made!

So then the day after (Sunday) I cleaned ALL DAMN DAY! I figured I’d do the annual floor mopping that I do. Yes, I said annual. Nobodys got time for that nonsense! Twins aren’t crawling yet so its all good. By 8pm, the back of my knees were burning. I had officially overdone it. According to my fitbit in 24 hours I had walked 34,000 steps. People…just do the math on that one. Painful. Not to mention the 47 flights of stairs I did taking care of the little shits!

And wouldn’t you know it…feet are up…I’m sipping on my night cap martini in silence as the husband takes the furball out one last time before bed. They come waltzing back in and the sweet apple spice aroma floating through the house was suddenly overcome by something horrifying.

Human feces? Dead raccoon? No one will ever know but sweet old furbaby Harley decided it was time for his annual shower. He committed one of the most heinous acts a dog could do. Why oh why me? So back up the 48th flight of stairs that day and in to the shower he went. Good lord, why do you punish me???

Anywho, round two tonight. Will drink my little martini and hopefully this time I can finally get some piece and quiet!

Cheers!!!

 

 

 

 

 

We Survived 7 Months!

Ya’ll….I took a mini timeout to get my life back together here. We hired a new nanny since I’ve been without for several months and I was burning out…BIG TIME burning out! My postpartum depression was really starting to dictate how my days were and having this small lease on life again has been so uplifting…I’m finally a good mom again.

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So in other news the boys turned 7 MONTHS! I can not believe I’ve been a mommy for 7 months. How great is that?! They are just so miraculous and true to form every time they turn another month they surprise me by showing me something new. This time Baby B was holding his own bottle…shortly followed by Baby A doing the same later on. Then Baby A showed me that he knew how to “play” with the fun bits on his activity jumper! How in the world?!

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It was a Saturday and absolutely gorgeous out. Not too hot, not too cold, just right said Goldilocks. And I decided to pack us all up, dog included, and head to a local park! This, my people, is a HUGE deal. I mean…we don’t get out much. Baby B is extremely needy and dramatic…but sweet as hell! And Baby A just takes it all in stride until he gets hungry and then he shits the bag. The husband has zero patience and the dog isn’t leash trained very well. So…this as I said was a huge undertaking on my part.

I made us a picnic, got the car all packed up and ready to go, and off we went. We walked around, the babies had things to look at and after about a 2 mile walk we stopped in a shaded area to feed the dudes and hang out. It was a dream. Seriously. So much so that the husband, with tears in his eyes, proclaimed, “This is one of the happiest days of my life.” Success.

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Don’t you just love moments that end up working out for the better? Life is getting easier. Slowly but surely. And I dabbled a bit in the alcohol department this weekend and didn’t wake up with a hangover because this girl had it under control! BAM!

Cheers!!!!