Lions…Tigers…And…Birds! Oh My!

The weather has been top notch these past few days! The AC is officially off and my bank account is thanking us! Husband and I are known for our spontaneous decisions when it comes to the weekend. This one being no exception! 

Saturday was his birthday. The big 3-8!! Christ! Talk about the clock ticking. I’m 33 however, he and I both agree that having kids after 40 isn’t easy anymore. So time to get things moving and pop a few more out! STAT! Since we still have three baby chicks in the freezer just waiting for us to thaw them out, it’s pretty exciting to think about the near prospect of adding to our crazy life! 

Ok I got off on a little tangent there….

As I was saying…his birthday. Pretty low-key, we had friends over. We ate pulled pork and Mac & cheese (don’t judge…game day here!) and watched Michigan State crush Iowa. 

Sunday was gorgeous! One of those fall days that was crisp and cold in the morning and by the afternoon the wind was cool but the sun was out and was warm enough that we could get away with just long sleeve shirts and no sweaters. Randomly, after the boys woke up from their one and only nap we decided to screw cleaning the house or any of that nonsense and go to the zoo!!! 

Near us is a small zoo but still with some bigger animals in it which is exciting. So we packed up the kids in a whirlwind and off we went! 

They loved the sea otters and penguins. Weren’t too sure about monkeys at all. Those guys are scary…I agree. Lion was cool but I don’t think they understood he was real! Camels were of no interest. The Rhinos were great to see but instead of checking those out, sweet little Landon pointed out a bug walking on the fence instead. This is precisely why kids under 2 are free. 

The farmyard animals and the free roaming peacocks were the most exciting. As was the bird room filled with cockatoos and what have you. Which was fricking terrifying….its like walking into a trap. One where no one gets out without bird poop on their head! 

Anyways, it was fun and makes me excited for the days when they are older and we can go to the bigger zoos! They’ll appreciate it way more then! 

And as soon as we got home…mama cracked open a little pumpkin ale to round out the weekend. Hope you all had a good one too! Helllllloooo Fall, so could to see your sweet ass again!

Cheers!!! Xoxoxoxo

An Early American Christmas

Two more days and we will be taking our tired asses to Germany! Myself and Landon have come down with the common cold. Our first ever! We survived 10 months without any sickness, I’d say that’s pretty impressive!

Also, Christmas is a HUGE deal for me and this is only my second Christmas spent in Germany even though I lived there for 4 years. I always swindled my way back home to the states. So, we will see how this goes. But I think it will be great.

The husband’s grandmother is 92 years old and Christmas Eve is her thing. Everyone goes over and sets up the tree, lights real (yes…REAL!) candles and sits around and drinks and sings all night long. Lord help me!

While we are there my brother-in-law will be getting married. They get married twice over there. It’s recognized by the state (think town hall ordeal) and then they have the church wedding as well, which for these guys will be in May. Another trip once the boys are over a year me! lol. Then after New Years we are headed to a spa hotel in the Alps to live out the rest of our trip. I’m HOPING for a nice break! You’ll find me naked in the sauna. Yes…naked. Lots of nakeds in there.

Anywho…we had a little Christmas here for the boys since there is no way on Gods green earth I was carting all that crap to Germany with us. They got a wagon from Grandma and Grandpa and a few other toys. Books and bath toys from mom and dad. All in all a good day I think! It wasn’t nearly as exciting as Christmases past have been but its a start into tradition!


I got the husband this nice sentimental gift of his hometown in Germany. It’s Map Art that was made on He cried when he opened it and realized what it was! So sweet! Momma did good this year πŸ™‚


Of course bows and wrapping paper was more exciting for the little turds but all is well! Santa came to the US and now we can head off to Germany!





My Top 5 Pregnancy Must Haves

I’m a new mom so when I was pregnant…and with twins no less….I learned REALLY quick what was comfortable and what worked for me. These are my absolute must haves! I’m not being paid to solicit this advice, just so you are aware! However, if any of these companies want to pay me…please…don’t hold back! I have twin butts to diaper! πŸ˜‰

  1. Blanqi Support TankΒ  : Β This tank top was life saving for the 2nd trimester. My tummy was growing at an alarming pace (ie. I looked like I was 20 weeks and I was only 9 weeks) This baby kept my babies in from when I was 20 weeks (left) up to about 32 weeks (31 weeks on the right). It has special support around the back, belly, under belly, and bra area. Whenever I wore it I was able to walk a little longer than I normally would and I wore this baby every day all day under everything!
  2. Leggings : Granted seeing a whale wearing leggings isn’t the cutest thing but I did NOT care! The over-the-belly- black leggings my S-I-L sent me were phenomenal! I wore those daily. Seriously. Never took them off. I bought one pair of maternity jeans at 9 weeks and those were the most uncomfortable things my legs were ever in. I highly suggest you get yourself over to a maternity store and buy a pair or two of these! Even whales deserve to feel comfortable!
A blue whale in leggings πŸ˜‰

3. Maternity Underwear : I swear by these. Eventually my fancy little strings no longer were comfortable or would even rest on my hips properly. My mom sent me a bunch of underoos that go WAY up over the belly and let me just tell you something…HEAVEN! I may have tried to wear them even after the birth but there wasn’t much there in terms of belly afterward. Sadly, they have been retired to the maternity clothes box in the cellar but oh man…GET YOURSELF THESE! Don’t try to be a celebrity and wear matching bra and panties just for that perfect instagram pic! Just don’t! Β Between these, my over the belly leggings, and then my support tank (see above) those boys were snug! And so were all my lady bits!


4. The biggest bottle of Tums you can get your sticky, over heated hands on. People, the reflux is REAL! I couldn’t eat ANYTHING without the depths of hell massaging my vocal chords. I mean, seriously. What gives?! I ate Tums like it was my day job. I know, I know….you’re directed to only have so many within a 24 hour period but my kids turned out fine. I completely disregarded this because well…Life. Once Tums stopped working I started taking Pepcid and that definitely helped. Surely, I thought the devil himself would ride out of my mouth on a flaming chariot!!!


5. Diclegis : No joke. This medicine saved me from abortion. I literally was so ill..I mean beyond anything that I mentally and physically was capable of handling. I remember telling my husband I had met my limit. I could no longer carry these babies and I wanted to transport them somehow into a surrogate’s belly. Crazy enough…I was DEAD serious! I could not handle life. I wanted it all to end. (Dramatic I know but I was so done!) Well, come to find out I was beyond dehydrated, wasn’t getting enough calories, and my body was just a crap shoot. So, my doctor supplied me with sample after sample of Diclegis!


This is the same stuff that Kim Kardashian posted about on Instagram and got a lot of slack for it, however, she’s right. It works. Before you freak out and think..OMG I couldn’t possibly take something that could potentially hurt my unborn child…well…I’m here to soothe your worry. It’s basically Vitamin B6 and Unisom in the correct dosage taken at the right time every day and it WORKS. This was the one thing that helped me get out of bed and not lie there waiting for the grim reaper to show up. I was in the hospital several times a week for IVs and after taking Diclegis I didn’t need that anymore! Ask your doctor about samples. Prescriptions are SO expensive because the FDA won’t back it up (its too easy of a fix). Trust me, you’ll thank me later!

Did you have any must haves during your pregnancy that you could share with other expecting moms?

On that note…babies are awake from their naps! It’s walk time!


Stop Comparing

Recently I saw a friend’s Facebook post about her 7 month old singleton. He was born one day before my boys, for reference.

My boys currently are long, skinny, and one has a pretty large head. They each weigh approximately 17lbs, 28″ long. Thats pretty lean…both below the 25 percentile for those stupid charts. WHICH, by the way, are based off of moms who went 40 weeks, with ONE baby. There is no chart for moms who went earlier, with multiples and what not. All of which is fairly frustrating. Maybe I should write to the CDC about their mistake.

Anywho…back to my friend’s post. Here is what I saw:




Basically comparing kids is a no-go. Even though our kids were all born on the same day more or less, I need to stop thinking that I’m somehow lacking as a mom based on other children’s milestones.

So, he’s a bit taller….double the weight(!!)…talking…crawling…sitting up obviously…I mean…HOLD THE DAMN PHONE! Give me a second to catch up. For the record, her little guy is the most adorable little chap. Nothing against her, the baby, or her parenting.

Teeth….well at 7.5 months we are JUST starting to see some push through the gums for one guy, the other wants nothing to do with teeth. Crawling…thats a negative. Just trying to get through tummy time is a struggle. Says “Da-Da.” WTF! You’re 7 month old is talking AND has teeth. Shut it down. Right now!

It’s so hard for me not to feel inadequate. I am a new mom, severely struggling to get my post partum depression in order, and barely have time to teach my guys to sit up on their own. I am doing my best but when I see how moms with singleton babies are flourishing into these mini-geniuses, it kills me!

I realize I need to stop comparing my kids to everyone else. I am doing the very best that I can with what I have. Zero family, zero help, just me…100% of the time. I just really hope that I am not keeping my dudes from thriving just because I’m depressed and exhausted. We are all just trying to survive over here.



And people wonder why I drink! Just keepin afloat! When the boys were little they had such horrible reflux that they vomited most of their food every feeding. I was giving them 3oz for what seemed like eternity. Just recently we have been able to increase little by little without too much spit up. (WOOHOO!!! No more stained clothes!) But I used to feel sad that I couldn’t get enough food in them and all these others babies I saw were getting double what they were at that age. It has been a struggle!

Anyone else do this? Compare your kids constantly? We just gotta stop doing that and let our little people be the best little people they can be!


A Little Party – German Style

So I had to take a “leave of absence” from ya’ll for a week. It’s nothing you said or did. I just had it!

No but seriously, I was having one of those weeks that I was pretty sure I wasn’t going to survive.

This past week was the 3 year anniversary of the death of my most beloved person…my grandma. That was hard 3 years ago and somehow I’ve never fully let the sadness go. We buried her on my husband’s birthday so he’s had a few bad birthdays to say the least! So a funeral for one bday and we moved from Germany to the US another birthday celebrating in the plane.

With all that drama I decided to stress myself out with a Oktoberfest themed party for him. Yeah, I’m an overachiever. I spent 3 days cleaning, cooking, baking, being the bumper for drunks, and more cleaning. All while juggling the twinados. Well, I am officially done!

But here’s a little glimpse into what the weekend was about πŸ™‚

It’s clearly all about the outfits here. Well and the homemade black forest cake πŸ™‚


I made baked so many things. Crazy how much time I used up that I didn’t have to begin with. Thank god for nannys!!

We had a beer stein holding competition and all in all I think the husband was really happy with the turnout. We had a bunch of people here and tons more food arrive than what is shown in the picture. That is just what I made!

So then the day after (Sunday) I cleaned ALL DAMN DAY! I figured I’d do the annual floor mopping that I do. Yes, I said annual. Nobodys got time for that nonsense! Twins aren’t crawling yet so its all good. By 8pm, the back of my knees were burning. I had officially overdone it. According to my fitbit in 24 hours I had walked 34,000 steps. People…just do the math on that one. Painful. Not to mention the 47 flights of stairs I did taking care of the little shits!

And wouldn’t you know it…feet are up…I’m sipping on my night cap martini in silence as the husband takes the furball out one last time before bed. They come waltzing back in and the sweet apple spice aroma floating through the house was suddenly overcome by something horrifying.

Human feces? Dead raccoon? No one will ever know but sweet old furbaby Harley decided it was time for his annual shower. He committed one of the most heinous acts a dog could do. Why oh why me? So back up the 48th flight of stairs that day and in to the shower he went. Good lord, why do you punish me???

Anywho, round two tonight. Will drink my little martini and hopefully this time I can finally get some piece and quiet!