The Most Intense Love

Ask a mom what the love between her and her child feels like. She’ll probably have a hard time answering because its something shes never felt before. Unless of course, she instead, takes a look back on her days with Pablo on the beaches in Spain.

*We interrupt this message with a moment in thought*

Ok..I’m back! Whew…bucket of ice, please! Let me ALS challenge this dream right out of my head.

The truth about the love you feel comes from determination, defeat and determination once again. When I first met the boys I didn’t feel anything instantaneously because my body was just shocked and awakened from its overly large egg shaped life it just lived in. The egg was hatched and I was handed not one but two little shits with mouths wide opened.

Who.What.When.Where. How. Take them back for a second so I can wrap my head around all this.

It took me many months to fall intensely in love with them. It came from not giving up, hating life, wanting to walk out and never come back, and then the determination to survive and provide them the best that life can give. It was a big struggle for me since I had postpartum depression which actually started before their birth at about 30 weeks. Christmas was rough those months before they came. Shocking, I know. How can Christmas be anything but joyous?!

So, looking at them today… the hard days of newborns are past us (PRAISE BABY JESUS) and as I type one of them is fussing around in his crib because he decided a 30 minute nap was good enough (seriously, dude?!). They are part of me. They are the recipe I cooked up for 8+ months and now as I look at them they look like me or bits of me. Twins are no joke. It is SO hard. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Imagine working 24/7, never a break, never a vacation, no more time for yourself. It literally consumes you when you decided to be a mom and then a stay at home mom on top of that. Phew…HARD WORK.

l5
One of my finer moments…3 weeks after birth and trying to have a glass of wine. One sip, and done! Pretty, aren’t I? lol

l7

But this is all why I’ve finally come back to my love of alcohol. I swore during my pregnancy I would never drink again since the idea of it made me want to vomit. That took a good 5 months after their birth to come back to me but its back and with a vengeance!

l8l6

Speaking of vengeance…this kid (the blondie) needs to go back to sleep. Up I go to try to coerce him!

Is 9:30am too early to start drinking? What about just a little bit of whiskey in the coffee? Wrong?

Cheers!!!!

 

 

5 thoughts on “The Most Intense Love

  1. Wow kudos to you mama! I’ve only had one baby at a time and yes the love is intense but so was the exhaustion so no.. 930 is not too early for wine! Lol .. what blessings you have!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha thank you! Just found a coupon in the paper for $2.00 off Baileys…that can be hidden in my coffee! šŸ™‚ But 2 at one time is hard but so isn’t having multiple babies at different ages and stages! I don’t know how you do it! Go you!!

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    1. I deactivated it for now because I wasn’t getting any traffic (even after paid advertisements…blah!) Plus juggling Insta, the blog, and the book was hard to do with two jugheads constantly looking for my attention lol. But I’m on Instagram a lot! Are you on there? My account is mommysdoublemartini šŸ™‚ Come find me!!!

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