It’s Halloween And I Don’t Care

I’ve been feeling pretty down on myself. I keep seeing this posts on social media of everyone dressing up their kids. Some are of parents and their first borns, some are of kids already grown, some are of twins. I just can not pull myself together enough to do dress up my own. I am exhausted. I am worn thing. I have zero stamina.

I feel like I’m failing at motherhood. My kids live in pajamas and we don’t leave the house very much. It takes double the time to get them ready and now with colder weather, to get them bundled. Plus, I am ONE person with zero breaks for myself. If we can make it outside for a daily walk then I have won the day, in my mind.


We follow a pretty strict eat, play, sleep, repeat schedule that I don’t have enough time in the day to take them to a play date or to do anything other than what we are doing. Feeding them takes up an hour of our time, and that leaves us with exactly 1.5 hours until nap time.

My point is, I’m happy for families that can pull it together and do all these things. But I’m hoping that I am making enough memories with these little guys. I have no family here and all the neighbors/”friends” that said they would help out once the babies were born have somehow fallen off the face of the earth. Funny how that happens. The husband works 60+ hours a week and from morning until night, it’s just me. unnamed

I’m trying, I really am. But I can barely get out of bed myself these days. 8 months into motherhood and I’m pretty sure the mistakes are somewhere in the millions. I hope these dudes will forgive me one day for not having much variety in their baby albums. Sorry, kiddos….mommy was too busy trying to help us all survive!

Anyone else feel like this sometimes? This mother stuff is HARD work!


6 thoughts on “It’s Halloween And I Don’t Care

  1. I loved the honesty in this post. You sound like pretty awesome mom to me!
    I understand how you feel.. I am currently sat here with my 2 month old while she takes a nap.. dreaming of going outside to grab a coffee etc like I use to. It’s not easy being a SAHM but you are doing your best and your children are thriving from it. I came to this realisation about 3 weeks ago… if I’m not ok by daughter won’t be ok.. moms definitely matter.

    All the best.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That first year is real, raw, and downright rough! It’s easy to get caught up in what other mama’s are doing… but, your most likely not like those other moms. You have two babies. Two babies at one time is a lot of work! My first year is exactly how you stated. I did it solo, with four kids, one of which who just started kindergarten after we brought the twins home. I felt awful and longed to be “normal” once again. We hardly went out anywhere that first year, unless it was necessary. I don’t even remember most of it, because it was such a blur. Just know your not alone, and try not to focus on what others are doing. Just focus on your babies, and cherish this time as much as you can. It goes so fast, but even faster with twins!


    1. Thank you for this!!!! ❤ It's so hard not to compare the twins but up against other singleton babies…even worse! I get so jealous sometimes!! It's slowly starting to get easier! Just trying to hang on for dear life!


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